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Thursday, June 20, 2013

One More Minute-Blak Rayne #love #loss #death #family

One More Minute....
Though extremely difficult, writing this post has proven to be somewhat therapeutic. To explain, these past weeks have been a nightmare for my family and I. Literally. On May 27th at shortly after four a.m. we received a phone call that my husband's son had died. I will rephrase that...our son had died. It never mattered whether I was his biological mother or not, I married his father, taking on the roll as stepmother. But, in his eyes, I was mom; he always called me mom with an air of the sincerest affection any child could bestow upon their parent. And, I always felt deeply honoured.
Aside from my husband's inconsolable grief, I can't tell you, nor can I possibly explain the loss I feel other than there's a hole in my heart and no matter what anyone says nothing will fill it. Our family is now incomplete. He was truly a kind soul, the type of person who loved his family and friends beyond measure.
I have no regrets, no should have, and no could have, because we had a wonderful relationship, him and I, which I will cherish as memories. But I do wish we'd had more time. That's all. Just one more minuteone more houranything.  I know it sounds selfish, but he really deserved more than 33 years.
Losing a person we love is difficult enough, but when it's someone you least expect, someone who should by rights outlive you, it makes the loss more devastating.
To our son:
His Journey Has Begun
by Ellen Brenneman
Don’t think of him as gone away
his journey’s just begun,

life holds so many facets 

this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting

from the sorrows and the tears

in a place of warmth and comfort

where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing 

that we could know today 

how nothing but our sadness 

can really pass away.

And think of him as living 

in the hearts of those he touched…

for nothing loved is ever lost 

and he was loved so much.
Love Mom xox