Welcome to BRB, everyone! I've often wondered what gives rise to
the fascination and experimentation with certain sexual fetishes, for instance,
BDSM, erotic asphyxiation, necrophilia, et cetera. Some scientists believe such
sexual cravings are not normal for human beings, and can stem from childhood
abuse, whether we're consciously aware or not. Other scientists claim an actual
mental condition causes these often dangerous, self-destructive and addictive
behaviours, which isn't so dissimilar from other psychological conditions such
as someone who is a sociopath. It's also thought that an imbalance of certain
chemicals in the brain, the use of alcohol, drugs, and medical conditions such
as bipolar can cause hyper-sexuality; satyriasis for males and nymphomania for
females—“excessive masturbation.” Regardless, there is still debate, and the
American Psychiatric Association rejected adding sexual addiction to its list
of psychiatric disorders. Which I find strange because speaking from personal
experience I've known many people with specific mental illnesses who seem to
act out sexually. My ex-husband used to work with the mentally challenged, and
this was something he noted. In Canada “sexual addiction” is viewed quite
differently, and most psychiatrists believe it is an actual medical condition.
The following is a quote from the Winchester Hospital 'health
library' page on sexual addiction. 'While
not all mental health professionals agree that a person can be “addicted” to
sex, you need help if your sexual thoughts and behaviour are interfering with
your life and causing you distress.'
So, which is it? Does a sexual fetish come about due to childhood
trauma or a medical condition? Is it simply a learned trait? In other words,
you had sex with someone into BDSM, they taught you, and you discovered it was
quite pleasurable. Why are some people drawn to certain fetishes and others are
turned off? Maybe it's a moral dilemma? Religious?
It seems the questions are endless, and we'll never get a straight
answer from any of the experts, only an educated opinion. So, now that I've got
your attention, and you're mulling over what I've just said, I will jump to my
next fetish of choice Ménage à trois.
Ménage à trois is French in origin and literally translates “house
of three,” and used to be classified as a living arrangement where three people
are engaged in a sexual relationship while occupying the same household. Today
this fetish has evolved into a term used to describe three-way sex. Threesomes
can have any sex combination: two women and a man, two men and a woman, three
men, three women and so on, and so on....
Personally, I can scarcely keep up with the man I have now to add
someone else into the mix! LOL But, seriously speaking, and not that I lack
confidence, but I suppose you'd have to be very sure about your sexuality,
open, and willing to share it with multiple partners at once. You'd have to possess
high self-esteem. And, there couldn't be any jealousy between those involved.
I'm guessing trust must also be important as it is in BDSM.
Are there feelings involved or is it strictly sex? Why are
middle-aged men, those speeding towards a mid-life crisis seeking to have two
women at once? Does a sexual act of this magnitude boost their ego?
Menage is big in the erotic book department—a fantasy many people
love to read about, but would never indulge. For me, Ménage à trois doesn't
spark my interest, though I do find how the other half lives fascinating.
Happy Yaoi Hunting!
Blak Rayne
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