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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

SST - Why Women Like Gay Porn - Guest Author Shauna Aura Knight #gay #sex #erotic #porn #article


Welcome to BRB, everyone! I hope you enjoy this Strictly Sex Talk post! My guest, the lovely author Shauna Aura Knight, has written an awesome article about, us, as in women, who like gay porn. Well, Shauna, I can't say I don't like it. *grins*

Why Women Like Gay Porn
By Shauna Aura Knight

I have found that writing erotic romance seems to lead to me to admitting all sorts of things about my own sexuality. Fortunately, I’m an activist for being sex positive, and I believe strongly that when we actually talk about sex, we can begin to heal some of these deep cultural wounds we have that lead us to so much shame and fear around sex.

Even so, talking about sex is occasionally still embarrassing.

One thing that I find interesting is how--after I admit that I like gay porn--many women admit that they like watching gay porn too. Usually the conversation goes something like, “Oh wow, I thought that was just me. I thought I was so weird.” Well, it turns out you aren’t weird. In fact, I was talking to my friend who is a sex therapist, and he said that not only do a lot of women like to watch gay porn instead of straight porn…but even the occasional die-hard lesbians do too, and then they wonder what’s wrong with them.

It turns out that most gay erotica is written by women. A friend of mine who is gay said that he had mixed feelings about that. He certainly likes having access to the erotica, but he wishes he could support the work of more gay men, but he just can’t find very many gay male authors. Similarly, I know a few men who write paranormal romance but do so under a female pen name.

So why do women write gay erotica? Why do women read it? Why do women watch gay porn?

I don’t even remember when I first watched gay porn. I’m a sex positive girl, but I don’t actually watch a ton of porn. I occasionally like a little visual inspiration, and I’m definitely a visual learner. I probably first watched it out of curiosity, but I quickly realized that I found it hotter than straight porn. I used to laugh and say, “Well, two cocks are more inspiring than one, right?” I also notice that women in porn films almost never seem like they are actually having a good time. Call it intuition and body language; I can just tell when someone’s putting it on for the camera. Plus, straight porn almost inevitably ends in a facial, which I find to be pretty gross. Some people love them; I am not on that list.

However, my friend who is a sex therapist described it pretty succinctly; straight porn is about giving an average guy the experience of having sex with a woman, and so the camera is there to make the woman look sexy. The guy is typically supposed to not be super attractive so that he’s not a “threat” to the guy watching the porn. The camera is also focusing on the woman. The camera isn’t supposed to make the male actor look attractive to the viewer.

Whereas with gay porn, the focus is on both male actors (or more if it’s a group scene). The “gaze” of the camera is appreciative of the male form, allowing the male body to be sexy to the viewer.

From that perspective, my own experience makes sense. In straight porn, not only are the guys typically not as stereotypically sexy, but the camera work isn’t focused on making the men look attractive. And, the woman doesn’t really seem like she’s actually enjoying the sex. I mean, there are exceptions. And certainly I’ve watched gay porn where the guys looked pretty bored. But overall, the male form is presented in a more attractive way, and it seems to me that the guys are enjoying it more. Or, maybe it’s just that I notice it more when women aren’t into it.

I suppose another factor is perhaps that, as a woman, I don’t really have all the cultural shaming around masculinity, so for me, gay porn isn’t a loss of masculinity for any of the guys whether they are on the top, the bottom, or the side.

The closest I’ve come to writing M/M is my story Werewolves in the Kitchen, which is a M/F/M ménage. While I don’t actually describe any sexual scenes between Kyle and Jake, just the threesome scene with Ellie, I alluded to Kyle and Jake’s past as lovers. I actually like the characters so much that they make a cameo appearance in another novel that also takes place at the SpiralStone retreat center, and I’ve thought about writing a couple of standalone short stories where Kyle and Jake get together.

Part of what has kept me from writing M/M is because, I’m not a guy and I haven’t had gay sex. However, I’ve also never been in a threesome and that didn’t stop me from writing that. I suppose now that I have at least a couple of male characters who have the hots for each other, it’s kind of inevitable that I’ll be writing some M/M in the future.

I hope to learn more about what it is that makes gay porn so enticing for many women, I find it a fascinating question!

9 comments:

  1. Yeah, it's an intriguing question! I try and give my answer here: http://nikolaos-thiwerspoon.blogspot.com.au/2011/01/power-of-slash.html

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Nikolaos! And, thank you for adding your post link. Fabulous article. It is an intriguing question no doubt, and one that I find asking myself on occasion. I suppose for me, it's a double-edged sword. Even though I fell into writing gay romance literally by accident, since things have changed. One of my children is bi, several friends are bi, and I lost a very close friend who was gay, so I've felt I should continue writing in the genre. And I've always found two men together hot! lol

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    2. That is a great article. This is something I've pondered ever since the first time I guiltily admitted I liked the occasional gay porn and then other women would say, "Wow, me too!" and I discovered how common it was.

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  2. Thank you for sharing an awesome article with BRB, Shauna! :)

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  3. Thanks Shauna for this article and Blak for posting it. To be honest I have always wondered what about two men appealed to women. I've wanted to ask the question but it seems politically incorrect in today's climate to not "get it."

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  4. Thank you for stopping by, Normandie! I suppose it's the same reason two women appeal to some men. It used to be a restrict pleasure, a sinful treat, a no-no, and in some cultures it still is.
    I'm not a lesbian, so I honestly don't find two women together appealing other than I can understand how the images of genitalia and expressions of pleasure between them can cause arousal, that is human nature. But since my natural sexual preference is men, and two men, doubles the pleasure in my eyes, maybe it just comes naturally, for me to become aroused.

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  5. Sounds to me that you're not finding the best kind of straight porn ;-) I'm not a woman, and I'm not gay, but I am interested in what women are drawn to in erotica. I would say that you're hugely generalizing the characteristics of porn, it's not all one big homogenous mass. And you seem to be suggesting that women like gay porn because of the low production values of straight porn! When women are reading erotic stories, the production is largely in their heads. I wonder if part of it might be that women identify with gay men, because you all find guys sexually attractive. Maybe you secretly think that gay guys have the answer to the mysteries of the modern man, because they're men (I'm a guy, though, I don't think we have mysteries). Maybe women identify with the challenges that gay men face as a minority in today's society. Or maybe it's simply because in gay sex there's just lots more man all round for you guys to enjoy. Anyway, interesting question.

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    1. I researched and wrote an article on Porn vs Erotic, and there's a huge difference. Porn is porn, and erotic is erotic, and for me personally, I don't find porn necessarily appealing, whether it's a straight couple or gay, or lesbian. I prefer erotic, it's a suggestion and build up of what's to come, unlike porn which is more often then not in your face. So production value doesn't even come into it, straight or not.
      And, as far as gay men are concerned, there really isn't any mystery to it. For me, I believe it all comes down to what my personal tastes dictate. I assume, if I were into women, I'd find to lesbians together titillating. A man and a women together, yes, I do find it stimulating, but I also find two men a turn-on.

      And, maybe you're right. Maybe deep down most women do identify with the challenges gay men face in society today. They are shunned and often ridiculed for their sexuality, just as women have been ridiculed and abused throughout history simply for being women, and the supposed weaker sex.

      But, on the other hand, I think you might be right, it's just a lot more fun to watch! LOL

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