Welcome to BRB, sweeties, and another Strictly Sex Talk article! How do you like the new image? She's going to be my SST girl. LOL
I've often wondered what gives rise to the
fascination and experimentation with certain sexual fetishes, for instance, BDSM, erotic asphyxiation,
necrophilia and so on. Some scientists believe such sexual cravings are not
normal for human beings, and can stem from childhood abuse, whether we're
consciously aware or not. Others claim an actual mental illness
causes these often dangerous, self-destructive and addictive behaviours, which
isn't so dissimilar from other psychological conditions such as someone who is
a sociopath. It's also thought that an imbalance of certain chemicals in the
brain, the use of alcohol, drugs, and medical conditions such as bipolar can
cause hyper-sexuality; satyriasis for males and nymphomania for females—'excessive
masturbation'. Regardless, there is still debate, and the American Psychiatric
Association rejected adding sexual
addiction to its list of psychiatric disorders. Which I find strange
because speaking from personal experience I've known many people with specific mental
illnesses who seem to act out sexually. My ex-husband used to work with the
mentally challenged, and this was something he noted. In Canada 'sexual
addiction' is viewed quite differently, and most psychiatrists believe it is an
actual medical condition.
The following is a quote from the Winchester
Hospital 'health library' page on sexual addiction.
'While not all mental health
professionals agree that a person can be “addicted” to sex, you need help if
your sexual thoughts and behavior are interfering with your life and causing
you distress.'
So, which is it? Does a sexual fetish come
about because of childhood trauma or a mental illness? Is it simply a
learned trait? In other words, you had sex with someone into BDSM, they taught
you, and you discovered it was quite pleasurable. Why are some people drawn to
certain fetishes and others are turned off? Maybe's it's a moral dilemma?
Religious?
It seems, the questions are endless, and
we'll never get a straight answer from any of the experts, only well-educated
opinions. Anyway, now that I've got your attention, and you're mulling over what
I've just said, I will jump to my next fetish of choice Ménage à trois!
Ménage à trois, which is French in origin
and literally translates 'house of three', used to be classified as a living
arrangement where three people are engaged in a sexual relationship while
occupying the same household. Today this fetish has evolved simply to three-way
sex. Threesomes can have any sex combination—two women and a
man, two men and a woman, three men, three women and so on, and so on....
Personally, I can scarcely keep up to the
man I have now to add someone else into the mix! LOL Seriously speaking, and not that I lack
confidence, but I suppose you'd have to be very certain about your sexuality,
open, and willing to share it with multiple partners at once. You'd have to
possess high self-esteem. And, there couldn't be any jealousy between those
involved. I'm guessing trust must also be important as it is in BDSM.
Are there feelings involved or is it strictly sex? Why do some middle-aged men, especially those speeding towards a mid-life crisis, desire two women at once? Does a sexual act of this magnitude boost their ego?
Menage is big in the erotic eBook
department—a fantasy many people love to read about, but would never indulge.
For me, Ménage à trois doesn't spark my interest, though I do find how the
other half lives fascinating.
For my Strictly
Sex Talk post on December 13-2012, I wrote an article on the art of erotic
bondage called 'The Art of Sex - Shibari/Kinbaku'.
Happy Yaoi Hunting!
Blak Rayne
Sexuality is such a big part of our unconscious mind but we know so little. Mental illness can manifest in very bizarre ways such as washing your hand repeatedly so I'm sure acting out sexually could be in the mix. It's so highly personal to everyone. I think that's why they hesitate to put sexual addiction in the diagnostic manual for mental illness. Basically something is only a problem if you're hurting others or yourself in a way that interferes with having a functional life. Very thought provoking questions. I've fantasized about it but the thought of actually doing it scares the pants off me. You're right about the confidence factor.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the added insight, Christina. I don't know if we'll every really figure things out. I believe we're too diverse; each to his or her own thoughts and opinions. :)
ReplyDelete