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Thursday, April 7, 2011

CATS AND DOGS (4) - Cats rule, dogs drool and humans serve.

I swear I’m going to go bats. Bart’s at it again, staring at the computer screen as if it’s the only thing in the world worth his time. What’s a cat going to do for entertainment? He’s so up close and personal with it I can’t even get in his lap. I even mewled at him until I thought I’d go crazy. That meow-purr talk that usually makes him obey me because it really gets under a human’s skin. Enough was enough. I decided to see what was so important this time so I jumped up on the desk and planted myself between him and the screen.

“Socks, move it or else.”

I turned my back on him to see which chat had him so fascinated this time. If I was capable of blushing I would have. Bart so had to get out and get a life. I mean even when he did leave the house it’s just to go to work where he spends all day staring at a computer screen as well. Or at least to hear him tell it which he does three, four times a week when he gets home.

I flicked my tail in disgust at what I’m seeing and he sneezed when it hit his nose. I gave my cat grin though he couldn’t see it of course since I wasn’t looking at him. Wait a minute, humans can bend like that? I thought only cats were that limber. Putting a paw over my eyes I peeked around it. Uh uh, no way. Suddenly the pictures disappear.

“You were too interested,” Bart said, chuckling. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you were gay.” He signed out of that site. “You up for a solitaire game?”

Okay, so maybe it sounds weird but I liked watching him move those cards around on the screen and trying to catch them. There weren’t any mice to chase so it’s the next best thing. I jumped down into his lap, adjusting myself to be comfortable without getting poked. Yeah, those sites make my human way hard, excuse my language. Probably like I’d be if there were cat porn sites. Humm, there’s an idea. I wondered if there were. Heaven only knows I’m not getting any the right way since he won’t let me out of the house. I’m going to have to work on that. Convince him I will come home again. Maybe slip out when he comes in the door from work then show up a bit later with a mouse as an “I’m sorry” offering. Humans like presents so that should placate him and let him know I wasn’t going to desert him.

Good plan for tomorrow night. But for now… King on Ace? Nuh uh. I tried to catch it before he got it there. Yeah, I knew I couldn’t really but he thinks I’m funny and a happy human is what I was aiming for right then.

* * * * *

I slit one eye open, my ears swiveling as I listened to a sound that shouldn’t be happening. Not at this hour of the night. Stealthily I slipped off the bed and crept out of the room every sense alert now. My first thought was, ‘The cat burglar’. I grinned my feline grin of anticipation. This could be interesting. 

There was a tiny noise. Nothing a human would pick up on but then I’m not a human, I’m the perfect species, a cat with highly attuned senses. I inched my way down the stairs on padded feet and towards Bart’s office door, body low to the ground. The office had another door leading out to the side of the house. Someone was working on the lock. ‘My burglar, yes!’

Edging into the office I slithered quickly to hide under the chair where I could watch unobserved when he made it inside. Should I have wakened Bart instead? Perhaps if I were just a dog I would have. Yipping and barking like a mad thing. But I wanted to see who this burglar was, not scare him away.

The outside door opened, inch by inch, and the burglar stepped into the office. At first all I saw was a pair of sneaker-clad feet. I wriggled forward a tad and looked up. The streetlights shining dimly through the window plus my superior night vision let me see all of him. Tall, dark-haired, not too bad looking I guess if you ignored the sly cast to his features.

He turned on a small penlight and scanned the room. Quickly but quietly he began gathering up Bart’s toys, the videogame console and controllers, the games themselves. He took them to the door, setting them on the ground outside before returning. Taking one look at the computer he shook his head in disgust, muttering “He’d have to pay me to take that,” under his breath.

Then he began going through the rest of the house, picking up a couple of things that interested him to put into the bag slung over his shoulder. I watched, creeping along behind him in the shadows, living up to my real name, Phantom.

I’ll give the guy kudos, he was as quiet as I am when it came to moving. He went upstairs into the bedroom, took what he wanted, and was out again without Bart even stirring. He even stopped for a second to look at my sleeping human. He smiled slightly, gazing at Bart with a gleam of interest in his eye that piqued my curiosity. Not that Bart needed a thief in his life but on the other hand…

Okay, I was so not going there. This was the bad guy, the one the cops had been looking for for the last couple of months. Like I said, this was not someone for Bart. No way, no how.

The burglar left, tossing one more look at Bart before he headed back to the office. Luckily for me he didn’t close the bedroom door so I followed him into the office and then, using all my feline wiles to stay out of his view, into the yard. He closed the door, picked up the things he’d set down by the house and walked quickly towards the alley.

I heard a soft ‘Whoof’ and my fur stood on end, my ears going back as I dropped low to the ground. Trouble ahead of the ‘stupid dog’ kind.

The burglar stopped to pat the beast and it whined before they headed out of the yard and down the alley to a battered car. The burglar started to put his loot into the trunk

Decisions, decisions. I looked at the trunk which was still standing open while he let the dog into the car. What the hell, in for a penny, in for a pound. Well hopefully not the latter all things considered. I jumped into the trunk and curled down in a dark space behind a cardboard box. The burglar put the last of Bart’s things in and slammed the trunk shut. Then, seconds later, we were on our way.

Thank you, Edward for another really great excerpt! Very amusing and an enjoyable read.
Don't forget tomorrow evening, BL Morticia is back. As for me I've posted at Edward's blog:

There are two parts to this blog today, sweeties - so please bear with me. This is the second part. My blog has been awarded 'The Overlord Award' by IRM and Sharita L. Thank you so much! **hugs**

Post the award and the rules on your blog.
List 3 things you would change if you were overlord.
List 10 blogs you think are worthy of world domination.
Leave them a message in their comment sections with a link saying you chose them:


My three things I would change?

1. I'd make an attempt to eradicate world hunger.
2. Find a way to salvage and renew our fragile environment.
3. Eliminate all the evil powers that be.

The 10 sites I give this to

1. Michael Mandrake
2. Robin Badillo
3. Avril Ashton
4. Amy Romine
5. Nix Winter
6. Dena Celeste
7. Cassandre Dayne
8. Kristal McKerrington
9. Jennifer Labelle
10. Staci Brush

Happy Yaoi Hunting!
Blak Rayne ^_^!!

1 comment:

  1. Great post as always Ed!

    TY for awarding me Blak. I am honored! :)