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Sunday, February 13, 2011


What constitutes genuine love? I was sitting contemplating what to do for the hubby on Valentines (yes ladies Valentines isn’t just about us), when it hit me for this post. What’s the difference between sex and love? Is there a distinction between the two or do they simply coincide–work together to create a fulfilling existence?

We all know what the scientists have to say. At our most basic level, we as mammals (humans) need to reproduce and at a certain point in our lives we feel that need more than ever. That biological time clock ticks the loudest when we’re at our peak of reproductive life. Our bodies change when we’re on the prowl for the opposite sex. It’s proven that women and men have an unspoken agenda whether they consciously realize it or not. The pheromones are strong and the sexual urge even stronger. These two factors along with several other measurable physical changes occur when we seek the opposite sex for procreation. But what about the love? How does the amour fit into the bigger scheme of things? Do we feel the attraction first then does the love automatically follow?

When we’re initially in love the grass seems greener doesn’t it. The birds chirp just slightly louder and we feel like we’re on cloud nine. We become invincible. And when we actually engage in sex with the other person, we’ve fallen so deeply for, the bond seems complete– ‘We have touchdown, Houston!’ LOL The problem is, the beginning is great because of the chemical changes but in time that chemical euphoria wears off. Here are some primes examples. Have you ever had someone tell you, “I do love you, but I don’t love you like that any more.” Or my personal favourite, the one line that really stings. “I love you but I’m not IN love with you.” Yeah and you can bet I kicked his ass to the curb when those words left his lips–especially when I found out he was cheating. Liar, liar pants on fire! Then there are those people who are actually in love with the idea of being in love. Okay been there done that when I was sixteen. I still romanticize of course, I still like the feeling of being love and the ideal side of it all, but now my outlook has become more realistic.

What happens when the chemical wears off? Well, this is what I think, for what it’s worth... 

Nothing. Yep, you heard me sweeties, a big, fat zero. I think if you’re genuinely in love with that person the love doesn’t just wear off–oh maybe that first bit of excitement does, the titillation and he or she–can walk on water shit, but the real thing doesn’t. So obviously love is a deeper human bond than just screwing. Wow! Miracles never cease! LOL The truth is we need that bond. Children require both parents. Mother Nature has reasons for creating us the way she did. Think about it tomorrow when you gaze upon the one you’re smitten with. Remind yourself why you fell heal over heals with him or her. Say it. Don’t be shy. Enjoy the life you’ve created together. Wine and dine each other and yes…kiss, hug and make love (F***)! I don’t believe the love actually dies, I just believe we forget why we fell in love with one another.

That’s why I celebrate Valentines!

Now I’ll let you in on a little secret. Men enjoy Valentines just as much as we do, ladies. I know they say it doesn’t matter and we’re the ones that count, and I say BULLSHIT! True story. Several years ago I wander into the local grocery story, it was the day before Valentines. I purchased a dozen red roses, one small personalized cake with a chocolate heart on top, a couple of lottery tickets, a card and some heart shaped chocolates. Then I get in line for the till. This is no word of a lie and I swear on Grandma’s grave.

The teller says, “Wow you’re Mom will be thrilled with all the gifts.”

There were two other women standing behind me; a black lady and an Asian lady (they were hilarious, pretending not to listen in).

I looked at the teller and said, “These aren’t for my mother. They’re for my husband.”

You should’ve seen the horrified look on her face. The other two women were all ears at this point, almost leaning into me.

“Well I don’t think a woman should be buying her husband stuff for Valentines!” the teller exclaimed.

“And why the hell not??” I said. “I love him and he deserves a little recognition.”

And God as my witness, this was her reply. “It just isn’t right. The man should dote on the woman. I’d never do it for mine. He doesn’t do it for me.”

No shit he doesn’t bother with her, considering the attitude. This woman was in her late fifties at least and not a prize, I hate to say.

“Aww that’s a shame, no relationship should be like that,” I said. “Married long?”

“Thirty years.”

“Maybe if you pampered him once in a while you’d get the same in return. It works for me–the sex is awesome, and he's ready and willing every night if I want.”

The teller went bright red and the other two women were grinning like kids in a candy shop. Next thing I know, the two women dispersed and in seconds returned with all sorts of goodies in hand, telling me they’d try anything once if it meant more sex! LOL

And they say men are simple creatures…

Happy Yaoi Hunting ^_^!!
Blak Rayne


  1. Can you imagine the husbands' reactions when the two women arrived home with the goodies? Priceless. Funny post.

  2. LOL, love that story! Great post and best believe the mister will be grinning from ear to ear all day tomorrow *winkety-wink*

  3. LMAO Thanks Cara, Avril and Edward! Thanks for stopping by.
    I've got to share. We took the kids out for dinner last night (Valentines) treat. Later after we got home I gave everyone their card and gift (what are moms for). And of course, like every year, my husband says, 'I told you not to bother with me. All I need is your love.' (Yeah right) He kisses me. Then as he's turning away this almost sly grin crosses his face and he's tearing into his present. Uh hu - he doesn't need anything but my love! See it works! Anyway, tonight the hubby and I are going to spend some time alone. I hope you all do the same! Happy Valentines!